My Puppy

I have been debating rather or not to post this. Our family dog, Kenna passed away a few days after Christmas and it has been really hard for me. Since I already packed up my journal I decided to type out what happend and print it to add to my journal. Just thought I would share. Its good to be open about your feelings sometimes, right?

Here's my journal entry: On December 27, 2011 we were in Thatcher spending a few days with family for the holidays. I got a call from my dad saying that our dog, Kenna wasn’t doing too well. Before we left for Christmas Kenna was definitely weak…she wasn’t herself and was drinking TONS of water. She was also going to the bathroom in the house which she would never do before. We thought maybe she had Diabetes or Cancer. I felt so bad leaving her home alone while everyone went out of town. We left her with plenty of food and water in the back family room of my parent’s house. When my dad called he said that Kenna had started throwing up and was barely walking. Justin and I decided to head home right away. It was already the worst day, just hearing that she was so sick. The whole ride home all I could think about was my “puppy.” She was the best childhood dog ever…she followed me around everywhere and was so loyal and loving. When we got to my parent’s house I saw how bad she really was. I couldn’t stand to see her like that – she had lost sooo much weight! Even in the few days we were gone. Her little purple polka dot collar hung around her skinny frail neck. I criedand cried. We got online and looked up several vets in the valley. I called around and we found one near our house that was able to put her down if we got her there by 4:30. It was almost 4:00… It was such a quick decision, but we knew it had to be done. We couldn’t let her suffer any longer. I didn’t think I wanted to go to the vet but when the time came I didn’t want her to go alone. I held her like a baby over my shoulder in the back seat of the Tahoe the whole way there. I stroked her little head and just kept starting into her eyes. She was my dog and I loved her with all my heart. I knew it would be hard, but it was terrible. We arrive at the vet’s office and got checked – in. From the second wewalked in the door I started bawling. The receptionist was really nice and understanding. We said our good-byes (once more.) My dad kissed her on the head and I handed her to the vet that came through the back doors to get her. I told her I loved her. It was seriously one of the most traumatic things I have ever had to do. After they took her I turned into Justin and just cried out loud. I was so glad he was there to hug and hold me. My dad walked outside with his sunglasses on, he was having a hard time as well. They brought Kenna’s little body outside, wrapped in a flowered sheet. They gently placed her in the car and we had a quiet mournful ride home. Justin and I picked a spot out in our back yard to the side of the house by one of the planters and he started digging. I couldn’t watch much of that. I felt that I had said good bye and her spirit was already gone. I hate graves, I hate the feelings they bring out in me. Justin told me that placing her little body in the ground was so hard. It also brought back a lot of emotions for him and his childhood dogs. My dad, who had just had knee replacement surgery, was limping around cleaning up the remainder of Kenna’s things. I don’t think he wanted a bunch of reminders of her lying around everywhere – and he was also trying to keep busy. I still can’t believe she isgone. We had her a good 10 years, but it wasn’t long enough. I didn’t use to think that dogs were in heaven but now I pray that they are…because I will be so sad if I never see my puppy again. I love you Kenna.